In the United States, divorce is very common. It has been estimated that there is a divorce going through every 36 seconds (there are about 876,000 divorces every year around the country). All of this divorce means that children are often involved. Some experts say that more than one million children are impacted by divorce every year. If you are going through a divorce and have kids, you need to find an expert in child custody law. That is not the only thing you need to do to get custody of your kids. Here are some things that divorce lawyers suggest parents do when they are trying to win custody of their children, brought to you by The Spruce. https://www.thespruce.com/dos-and-donts-for-winning-child-custody-2998180
- Be open to working with your spouse. There have been instances where one parent will lose custody just because they say they will not work with the other parent. That means that no matter how angry you are with your soon to be ex-spouse, they are still the other parent of your children. It may not be written into child custody law but you will do yourself no favors by refusing to deal with the other parent of your kids.
- Take advantage of the rights that you have. If you are granted visitation rights, as is sometimes required by child custody law, you should take advantage of that. Refusing to spend time with your children is not going to convince anyone that you actually want or deserve custody of them. Showing the court that you want to spend time with them doing things like helping them with their homework makes a difference in a good way.
- Ask the court to evaluate the situation at your home. Nothing can refute a bad story about how things are at your home like an official report from a court officer showing things are good there.
- Remember that perception becomes reality in these cases. People have a hard time when they get into court and hear all sorts of bad things being said about them, especially when they are not true but when push comes to shove, sometimes perception is more powerful than reality. This happens a lot in politics and it happens just as often in courtrooms all over the country.
- Put your best foot forward in court. Wear business attire. Get to court early. Be polite to the judge. Many people grew up being told to “dress for church and for court.” Follow that advice. No matter how angry you are, or how much of a right you have to be angry, do not show that in the courtroom. You need to be calm, cool and collected in front of the judge.
- Learn what you can about child custody law. They say that information is power and it sure is in these instances. This will help you better prepare yourself and it always helps to know what to expect.
- Never bad mouth your spouse to your children. This is hurtful to them and puts them in the horrible position of feeling they have to be loyal to one of you. Even if your divorce is simple and there is no outward signs of distress, this can be a very jarring experience for your children. Saying bad things about the other parent will get back to them and will get back to the court. More importantly, it will hurt your children. Just do not do it. Ever.
- Make sure your divorce attorney has a lot of experience with these kinds of cases. Every divorce is different and every case involving child custody law is different but they share commonalities. You need someone who knows child custody law inside and out and has had a lot of experience working on these kinds of cases. Most of the work will be done outside of the courtroom and you need someone who is good in front of a judge and at negotiating with the other side.
The whole divorce process is hard and stressful for you, your soon to be ex, and your children. If you want to get custody of your kids these tips will help.